Dinosaurs in the Bible

I love when people say that there are dinosaurs in the Bible.  This cracks me up.  Oh, you didn't know that there were dinosaurs in the Bible?  They are, but they are called "dragons" instead.  Let me fill you in....

Some of the most hard core, backwoods, fire and brimstone Evangelical Christians believe that there were dinosaurs in the Bible.  They say that since the Earth is only 6,000 years old, the dinosaurs had to exist during the time of man.  They ignore the fact that the people who wrote the Bible didn't know as much as we do today.  But, this last statement is a topic for another day.

My first question is how did we have time to start agriculture, thus eventually forming cities, if there were dinosaurs chasing people around, trying to eat them?  If this was the case, we wouldn't have had time to stop running long enough to plant anything, let alone to wait months and months for it to grow!

My second question about this is where are the stories about the dinosaurs?  If they had Tyrannosaurus Rex running around, do you really think they would have been worried about the Romans?  Do you really think that they would have waited for someone to get them out from under Caesar's rule, or maybe for the Dragon Slayer to come along and free them from the MAN EATING DINOSAURS?!?!  If dinosaurs existed during the time that the Bible was being written, don't you think we would have stories that involved dinosaurs running in to town to eat people?  People are small and slow compared to dinosaurs, so we would have made an easy snack.  Especially once we started living in cities were we couldn't, or wouldn't, run away.

I can see the made-for-TV-movie-from-the-60s now:
People busily buying items in the market, Roman soldiers standing guard.  Jesus walks into the picture and immediately starts being harassed by the guards.  But wait! I think someone is screaming!  What did they say?  Dinosaurs are coming?!?  Oh, no, not again!  Quick Jesus!  Perform a miracle and make sure that these poor people don't get eaten by the giant 25 foot tall dinosaur that somehow didn't make it into the Bible!  Oh, those lepers?  Don't worry about them.  They will all be eaten by the dinosaurs soon since they are too sick to run away.  We won't have to worry about them for much longer.  They probably won't even be in the book that we write about you life in 200 years!

Wow, the gullibility of some people.  If they would only take a few minutes to learn about history.  And stop believing their preacher.  HE IS NOT THE MESSENGER OF GOD, PEOPLE!  HE ONLY SAYS THAT TO GET YOU TO KEEP GIVING HIM MONEY TO PAY FOR HIS 2 STORY HOUSE, HIS MERCEDES BENZ, AND HIS WIFE'S BOOB JOB!

One last thing.  They say dinosaurs are in the Bible even though they are not mentioned by name (the Bible uses dragon, or tanniyn, since the word dinosaur wasn't in use until 1841).  Well, where is the space shuttle listed?  It's not in there either but going by this method, it should be.  Maybe it was a donkey, or maybe Noah's ark.  Someone please let me know so that I may spread the message to the rest of the world.